Camels' Milk

It was Tuesday, and just like every Tuesday, my aunts and uncles are over at our home. We were all sat in the living room, and autonomously I listened to their conversations with my ears wide open. The usual topics like the weather, traffic, and politics were all covered. But unusual topics were also covered like camel's milk and the problem in our country that has started to grow - gayness. My dad was depressed about the fact that gayness has even shown its sinister facade in his clinic (he is the best skin doctor in the country!) and one of my uncles asked:

"How’s that?"
"Well..." my dad elaborated. "I had a number of young men ask me to provide them with skin lotion..."
My uncle just nodded in disgust.
Having realised my dad wasn't going to add to that, I calmly stated:
"skin lotion doesn't necessarily indicate gayness-"
"They were wearing tight jeans!" My dad fired back clearly agitated by my remark.
"Oh, so true..." they all said out loud agreeing with my dad.

I felt real stupid and so decided not to open my mouth again, at least not when my uncles and aunties are around. However, I ended up opening my mouth and looking back, I wish I just stuck to my plan. I didn't really have a problem keeping my mouth shut until they mentioned camel's milk and its great advantages! That is when I couldn't resist opening my mouth. They were going on and on about the benefits of camel's milk.

"Camel's milk is healthier than cow's milk" said my uncle.
"It tastes better too!" my aunt added.
"It almost has no cholesterol, unlike cow's milk" my dad remarked, adding his two cents to the conversation.
That is the moment where I couldn't contain myself and had to open my mouth.
"But dad? When my mom wanted to pour me a cup of camel's milk the other day, you refrained her from doing so, and said it will make me fat?"
My dad, uncharacteristically, replied by simply saying " I don't know... cannot remember." Then immediately changed the subject.

Anyway, after that we all decided to migrate to the other living room in our large house. As I was making my way to the other living room, my dad took me aside and waited till everyone was far away so as not to hear what he has to say. Then he said in an angry but calm tone:

"You are saying those things in front of your uncles and aunties? You are implying that your mom wants your health whilst I want to hurt you?"
"WHAT? I didn't even think of that! I know that you always misunderstand me but I asked a question and just wanted an answer to it. I just asked why? Not that you wanted to hurt me"
"I will tell you why I didn't want you to drink the camel's milk..." my dad remarked. "It's because camel's milk increases ones sexual drive."
I was speechless.
He then added, "Having an increased sex drive is not good for someone who isn't married!"
I was still speechless.

When I told my friend Norman about Camel's milk's "great benefit" that rendered me speechless, he had a different response to it. He thought of a business opportunity.
"Camel's milk could effectively compete head to head not with cow's milk or any other type of milk for that matter..." Norman said almost immediately after hearing the ‘great benefit’. "...but with alcoholic drinks! I mean, think about it." I thought about Nando's when he said that for some reason then snapped myself out of it. "...The girl you are hanging out with is not putting out? Slide her some camel's milk. Job done. She will sleep with you in a second to satisfy her increased sex drive."
"I wonder if they are open yet." I thought then snapped myself out of it again once I realised I was still on that issue. Surprisingly he was still going on and on about his 'business opportunity'.
"...Having trouble finding your partner attractive? Drink some Camel's milk. And think of the increased market share! religious groups which prohibit alcohol have no beef with camel's milk, so to speak. The market share with Camel's milk will be much bigger. It would be bigger than toast!"
"Do you want to go to Nando's?" I asked, having realised I couldn't think of anything else.
"Okay... but what do you think about my business plan?"
"It won't work."